
Gay Men and Low Testosterone: Energy, Confidence, and Fitness Explained
Introduction
In the gay community, many men worry about building or maintaining their physique after 30. The "dad bod" often isn’t seen as an option, because body expectations in gay culture can be high. As men cross into their 30s, it’s common to wonder: is my testosterone low? In this post, I’ll break down what low testosterone actually feels like and what steps you can take if it’s affecting you.
Why Gay Men Should Pay Attention
For gay men, low testosterone can hit harder because our culture often values men based on performance and body image. Protecting your self-worth takes active work, and even then, it isn't always easy.
When your penis isn’t getting as hard as you want, it can feel amplified into a bigger fear of not being enough. Especially when it happens often.
You may find yourself thinking, “Maybe I’ll be alone forever” or “What’s wrong with me?” when you hear friends hooking up after work, while you barely have the energy to show up.
You might feel the frustration of working harder in the gym than everyone else, with no real results to show for it.
Confidence can fade when you compare yourself to younger men who seem to progress faster.
Testosterone drives muscle growth, metabolism, mood, and sexual health. It’s one of the single factors that can impact nearly every area of a gay man’s life.
The Hidden Signs Most Gay Men Overlook
Low testosterone isn't just about being less interested in sex. I was in my 20s when I found out I had low testosterone. Here's how it often shows up in day to day:
Constant Fatigue - I was tired when I woke up no matter how much sleep I had gotten, felt like I needed caffeine to function, and felt like I needed a nap every 4 hours or so. It feels like constantly running on fumes in day-to-day life, wonder why it's such a fight to get the car to go faster.
Weaker Workouts - I know many may not feel sorry for me with this one since I had built a solid physique by the time I had been diagnosed with low testosterone, but I can confirm that I have had much more effective workouts when I choose to work out and recover faster as well now that my levels are normal.
Emotional Flatness - I had gotten to a point where I lived somewhere between slightly depressed and slightly positive. It was as if someone turned down the volume on my emotions.
Lower Libido & Performance Issues - I usually joke about it that it was a coin toss on if my penis was going to work. It had nothing to do with how aroused I was mentally or not, physically, it felt as if I was rolling the dice on if my hardware was going to work that day. In some men it shows up as them having a lower sex drive altogether.
Body Composition Changes - Because I caught it early I did not experience much of this. However, for men past 30, having lower testosterone makes it harder to maintain muscle and easier to accumulate fat around your stomach.
Sometimes, they aren't just "getting older" problems. They can be indications that your hormones may not be pulling their weight.

Factors That Lower Testosterone
While some things are out of your control like age and genetics, many are not. Here are some factors that often lower testosterone levels that gay men often do:
Chronic Stress - If you're living life in a pressure chamber of stress because you don't feel comfortable being yourself or are trying to fit into a the roles everyone else has told you you should be, understand that massive amount of stress you feel doing this has a price tag.
Poor Sleep - If you are a night owl and don't prioritize your sleep, this adds up over time and tanks your testosterone levels.
Overdoing Cardio While Not Eating Enough - Ironically, if you ask most gay men how to lose weight, this will usually come up. I have written about this in other posts, talked about it in my free training and at length in my free guide, but if you are doing a ton of cardio without strength training, it is a sure way to lower testosterone levels and suppress your metabolism.
Eating A Low Protein Diet - If you are attempting to eat clean and aren't tracking your protein, it is easy to end in a situation where you aren't getting enough protein to maintain your muscle which can begin a downward spiral that impacts your testosterone levels.
Alcohol & Party Drugs - Few people party better than gay men and real estate agents. Routine drinking disrupts hormones and recovery over time.
Certain Medications - Some SSRIs like Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Celexa, and Lexapro mimic the effects of low testosterone. Not everyone will experience this, but if you are struggling ask your doctor if your medicine could be playing a part.
What To Do If You Think You Have Low Testosterone
I wish less gay men felt shame around potentially having low testosterone. It didn't take me long after being open about my experience to realize that I wasn't the only one having hardware issues. This is the path I would recommend if you think you have low testosterone:
Fix The Basics First - Nutrition, sleep, stress management, strength training, getting enough sunlight, and drinking enough water are huge parts of your testosterone being normal. Sometimes we don't treat ourselves good but still expect our bodies to take care of us.
Don't Fall For "Testosterone Boosters" - Most supplements out there won't really do much for you.
Get Tested & Have An Honest Talk With Your Doctor - If you think your levels are low, get tested and talk to your doctor. They may be able to recommend treatment.
Closing Thoughts
Low testosterone feels like spinning your wheels. If you have found yourself wondering if yours is low, get checked. It can be life changing if your levels are low.
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